Reunions and Remembrances
by Arethea
Summary: A visit from Mulch jog the memories of Artemis and Butler, just in time to recieve a visit from Holly, concerning a human who glimpsed Haven.
1. A Dwarf Named Mulch

Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl belongs to Eoin Cohler. Don't sue. Author's Note: Don't you DARE flame me for bad writing!! Flame me for anything else but bad writing, understand? I can't help it if it's awful. If you do flame me for bad writing anyway, I will HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU LIKE THE ANIMAL YOU ARE!!! –normal voice- Enjoy the story now! Bye-bye!!! 

(ILEI) But BEWARE!!! She will kill he who criticizes Arethea's work!!!

(ARETHEA) facepalms

Reunions and Remembrances- Chapter One- A Dwarf Named Mulch 

"Butler!! Come here please!"

_I know Master Artemis is concerned about security_, Butler thought as he ran up the stairs to the security room, _but isn't sitting glued to many monitors all day a bit much? Oh well; I hope it's something **SERIOUS **like Libyan terrorists instead of just an unruly Girl Scout like last time._ "All right Master Artemis," he said out loud. "What is it this time?

"Well, I don't exactly know, it doesn't conform to all of the characteristics of any animal but it looks rather like a very short, wrinkled, dirty human in trousers..." Artemis mused.

Butler was definitely surprised. Master Artemis was actually telling him that he, the genius of the century, couldn't tell what it was that was standing there on the monitor of the surveillance screen waving at him like a maniac? **_This _**was definitely a first.

Artemis continuing his speech interrupted his thoughts, "...yet I think I've seen it before somewhere before, but where?" he trailed off with a look of extreme concentration on his face, as he tried vainly to remember exactly where he had seen this strange life form. He looked up just as the creature on the front doorstep raised a large sign that said: LET ME IN ARTEMIS FOWL! I KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING AND CAN'T HEAR ME, AND THAT YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING CONCERNING HAVEN, BUT YOU BETTER LET ME IN ANYWAY OR I'LL THROW A HISSY FIT!!!!!

Artemis was, to say the least, startled. His trademark calm, icy composure dropped a notch. _How does this...this,. **THING** know my name? How did he know I'd be watching? What, or rather, where is Haven? And for that matter, what is a hissy fit?_ As the last thought quickly registered in his fertile mind, Artemis made a decision. "Butler! Let it in but keep a close eye on it!"

Butler nodded once and set off down the stairs, seemingly unperturbed. But inside, his mind and heart were in a boiling pot full of worry. Much as his bodyguard training didn't allow it, he was very attached to Master Artemis and wasn't sure this was a wise choice. And shouldn't he know? Hadn't he guarded Artemis for the last thirteen years? And wasn't he closer to Artemis than bodyguards usually were? After all, he was rather like the father figure Artemis had needed when his father, Artemis Senior, had disappeared in Russia a while ago. Fortunately, Master Fowl's father had returned just last year. And what did Artemis mean to Butler? _Well, I suppose he's rather like the only friend I've ever had,_ Butler thought.

Finally he reached the front door and opened it to find the hideous thing standing there impatiently. The creature, Mulch Diggums, walked up to Butler and said insolently, "Remember me?" Butler replied, "No. Come with me and don't you DARE try any funny stuff, okay?" The dwarf told him, "I'm Mulch, remember me now? And by the way, it's all really thanks to you and Artemis that I'm not in jail with some dumb B'wa Kell goblin anymore." Butler was shaken. Here, standing before him, was a 'Mulch' that claimed that Master Artemis helped him escape from prison. Butler knew that it was possible that there had been some misunderstanding in sending 'Mulch' to prison, but he highly doubted it. He had seen enough of criminals and the like to know the look of one, and this Mulch had the look of an experienced thief, which, as it happened to be, he was. Wait a second; Mulch-thief-small, hairy, rude. This called a vague, almost-completely-forgotten hint of a memory of taking down a platoon of ugly, stupid reptilian creatures. Suddenly, all effects of the memory wipe he had suffered disappeared and he recognized the dwarf in front of him with a start. "Mulch Diggums!! What in the world are you doing here? Aren't you still supposed to be in jail? Wait until Master Arty finds out you're here!" Mulch grinned. He couldn't wait until Artemis found out he was there and remembered it all either.


	2. Bits and Pieces

Author's Note- Yes I know I suck and you know what? I don't give a #$! I know and don't care that the first chapter sucked. Hopefully this chapter's better. Read or I'll poke your eyeballs out.

(ILEI) She really will too!!! Hurry while there's still some time left and READ IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!!!

Reunions and Remembrances-

Chapter Two-Bits and Pieces

Butler led Mulch up the stairs. After that first outburst, he really hadn't said anything to Mulch at all. When they reached the security room, Mulch stopped in front of Artemis. "Hey Art! Did you miss me?"

Artemis drawled slowly and calmly, "No, I don't I'm afraid. Now, exactly why did you wish to see me...or, were you confused and looking for my father and mother, who are currently vacationing in France Mr....?"

"Mulch! Remember? Artemis, is this really the way to treat the dwarf you said you would join to unleash a crime wave? I mean, really!" Mulch was more than a little surprised. He was sure that, given a few minutes, Artemis would remember who he was. And, about twelve minutes later, he finally did. Mulch wasn't at all ready to suddenly be snapped out of a nice lunch (which Artemis had given him as a courtesy, and also because he was interested to hear that Mulch was a very good thief.) by a sharp cry as recognition and memory hit Artemis at the same time.

"Mulch! (calming down) So, I gather that you finally got out of jail again? Wonderful!!

Heard anything from Holly, Foaly, or Commander Root lately?

Stolen anything of great value? Started on our plans for the crime wave? Have any ideas about whom to rob?"

"No.", replied Mulch. "Thank Frond for that or I might have ended up in jail **_AGAIN._** Yes, I do have a few ideas. How about Bill Gates? Or someone else who's just as famous? Even better yet, lets go into the illegal jewel selling business. We steal the biggest and best quality gems in the place, and hold them for ransom, or even chip them down into smaller gemstones. Heard something about a Mud Man who accidentally found his way into one of our tunnels and escaped so that might be where the LEP are right now, chasing him down or maybe, just maybe..." The doorbell rang. "...they're here and need your help." Mulch finished. Artemis said, "Butler, would you go see who it is?" The large Eurasian man nodded. "Meanwhile Mr. Diggums, let us occupy ourselves with the plans I communicated to you with that note..."

Meanwhile, Butler strode out to the front door and peered out the window. His jaw dropped. There, on the Fowl mansion's front doorstep, were Holly, Commander Root, and a platoon of elfin soldiers.


End file.
